Defining My Occupation

Just a stay-at-home-mom? I think not. Try these on for size:

Waste Management Engineer Specializing, but not limited to, infant secretion disposal.

Elementary School Educator Turning every experience into a learning experience.

Guidance Counselor and Self-Help Guru Guiding them to help themselves.

Nutritional Supervisor and Gourmet Chef My motto – “Eat it, it’s good for you”.

Professional Shopper and Budget Manager Working miracles with a checkbook, one grocery cart at a time.

First Response Emergency Personnel Administering medical care when required and liberally applying Mama’s Magic where needed (uh, that would be kissing boo-boos)

Incubator and Infant Sustaining System I am so crafty, I make babies! I also make milk. What is your superpower?

Barber Specializing in crisis management, turning “Mama, I cut my bangs!” into “There, that’s not too bad, is it?”

Entertainment Coordinator and Chauffeur Including precise age-appropriatteness calculation expertise and proper Automobile Infant Restraint System usage expert.

Your turn. Can you think of more?