The Tooth Fairy Is A Bum, Christmas Edition (Christmas Countdown Day 10)

She has struck again!

The Tooth Fairy has a bad reputation in our house. She is a lazy bum who often forgets to pay up when there are teeth under pillows. If it is your first, or even second, tooth you will probably be fine. But in this house if you are loosing molars and don’t believe in the magic any more, then good luck!

The big kids have given up on the Tooth Fairy, opting to leave their displaced teeth in “more convenient” places (like the kitchen counter or the night stand) instead of under their pillows. Well, this week The Boy took it to a whole new level.

After putting the kids to bed, The Man and I were enjoying a movie. That’s when The Boy came running down the stairs. He excitedly informed us that he had lost another tooth. He was congratulated and sent back to bed with the obligatory promise that a dollar was on his way.

“I’ll just leave it down here,” said The Boy after he had cleaned the blood off his face. Then, as he passed the nativity scene on the piano he said, “Jesus can hold it for me.”

And there it sat all night. The next morning, it was still there.

I told you she was a bum.

On Teething and the Tooth Fairy

Teeth are the big deal around here.

They are growing in.

They are falling out.

And the Tooth Fairy, bless her soul, she just can’t seem to keep up. I will elaborate in a moment. But first –

A word on teething.

Teething stinks. I hate it and I wish it would stop. Yep, you read that right. I wish it would stop. Granted, I have no real solution; no proposed method of getting teeth without it (because you know that this nursing mom appreciates the toothless newborn!). I would just rather skip the fussy, drool-y, nothing-makes-me-happy part of infancy.

I am trying something new this time. I finally bought an amber necklace from Inspired by Finn. Correction: I bought two amber necklaces, one for V and another for The Munchkin who is still of the teething age. 

This is the one The Munchkin is wearing, called lemonade (photo slurped from their website):

Now, it took me the bearing of six babies before I finally bought some of these. Originally my thought was that only an imbecile would put a bead necklace on their baby. That progressed to a limited understanding of the function – a necklace to ease teething pain? Sounds very hocus-pocus to me. But, after seeing how cute they are on friends babies and hearing testimonies of the amber’s efficacy from people that I respect, I started to wonder. So, I did a little research and found that there is a bit of science behind the idea. The claim (in case you don’t already know) is that the amber contains succinic acid which is a mild analgesic. As I understand it, by wearing amber against your skin, you absorb this acid and it soothes pain (be it teething pain or arthritis pain or whatever). As to whether it really works or not, I am still a skeptic. But I figure that either way I like it because, look! It is so cute!

So, back to the teething… I don’t enjoy the endless questioning every time V gets fussy. “Maybe she is teething?” we wonder. And there is no way to know for sure. Eventually it ends. Eventually she gets teeth….

… Only to have them fall out again in a few years. And now –

The Tooth Fairy Is A Flake

I have blogged here before about the failings of the tooth fairy. It seems that she has not improved much.

The Dancing Queen lost a tooth the other night (I suspect that she was trying to earn some money by removing teeth from her head instead of going to sleep as she was supposed to do, but whatever). She came running down the stairs with tooth in hand and a bloody smile. “Mama! I lost a tooth!” I told her to clean up her face and put the tooth under her pillow for the tooth fairy. Then I finished my movie and my row (that’s right – knitting and watching a movie. I am that cool) and I promptly went to bed.

I didn’t realize my folly until around noon the next day. “Oh! Mama! I just remembered! The tooth fairy didn’t come!” cringe

“She didn’t?” I faked. “Maybe a lot of kids lost their teeth yesterday and she was very busy last night.” Lame, I know, but what would you have said?

That night, we checked to make sure the tooth was stashed snuggly under the pillow once again. I kissed my little gal’s forehead and said goodnight. And then I watched another movie, knit a few more rows, and I went to bed. 

Thank you, thank you! You may now nominate me for “The Worst Parent of the Year” award. I’m a shoo in.

It wasn’t until night three when the Tooth Fairy finally showed up.

She did try to make up for her massive failings. She included a note that read:

…. and an extra dollar to sweeten the deal. (Yes, that is a tooth. It seems the tooth fairy isn’t a great artist…)

Sometimes I wonder if maybe it is a good thing that my younger kids don’t know that she is really me.


The Tooth Fairy Redeems Herself

When Beka lost another tooth yesterday morning, she was so excited that she put it directly under her pillow.

Then, we did a major room cleaning in which we organized drawers, threw away tons of old junk – ahem, toys -, and stripped the bed to wash the sheets.

It wasn’t until it was all finished and we were sitting on the couch, happily reveling in our sucesses of the day that I realized what had happened.

“Beka, where did you put your tooth this morning?”

“Under my pill…. OH NO!” And, my  sweet six year old burst into tears! “Now I won’t get a dollar! It is lost, gone forever….” (Beka excels in the dramatic)

This reaction somewhat surprised me because I thought she knew that I am the tooth fairy. Apparently, she doesn’t.

“It’s okay,” I said, soothingly as I took her into my lap. “I will just call the tooth fairy and let her know what happened. She will still come.” I was grasping, here.

She brightened up a bit. “You know her phone number?!?”

“Of course! And I will call her as soon as you go to bed.” This seemed to work, and she reminded me as I tucked her into bed last night. “Don’t forget to call the tooth fairy, Mama.”

So last night, after she fell asleep, I crept up to her room and did the tooth fairy thing.

This morning, I was greeted by this:

Usually in our house, the tooth fairy is a bum. But, last night, she redeemed herself big time.

Three cheers for the tooth fairy!

The Tooth Fairy is a Bum

When my eldest daughter lost her first tooth, we put it under her pillow full of anticipation and excitement. Then, I waited and watched. “Is she asleep, yet?” Finally, she fell asleep and I crept in stealthily to make the switch. In the morning, she woke early, like Christmas morning or her birthday. “Mama!” she cried, jumping on my still sleeping form. “I got a dollar!” And her toothless grin delighted me to no end. The second tooth was similar. And when my son started loosing his teeth, we went through all the drama again. I got to be the tooth fairy. Several times. Now she is ten. She knows it is me. She knows that after she falls asleep, I sneak in and take her nasty tooth, replacing it with a dollar. The magic is gone. Now, it is just a cash cow.

So, yesterday, Abby lost another tooth. “Let’s just put it on the counter to make it easier for the tooth fairy,” I suggested, laughing. She laughed too and shot me a knowing look. “Okay” And there the tooth sat. All night long. This morning, I even made breakfast, drank a cup of coffee and nursed the baby without seeing the wretched thing. Abby brought it to me, a sparkle in her eye. “We even made it easier on her, and she still forgot.” She said, as she handed me the tooth. “I’ll get you a dollar in a minute,” I said, winning the “Worst Mother of the Year” award. “I make a pretty lousy mom, don’t I?”

“No” replied Abby, sweetly, “Your the best mom in the world.”

But we agree that the tooth fairy is a bum.