The Tooth Fairy is a Bum

When my eldest daughter lost her first tooth, we put it under her pillow full of anticipation and excitement. Then, I waited and watched. “Is she asleep, yet?” Finally, she fell asleep and I crept in stealthily to make the switch. In the morning, she woke early, like Christmas morning or her birthday. “Mama!” she cried, jumping on my still sleeping form. “I got a dollar!” And her toothless grin delighted me to no end.┬áThe second tooth was similar. And when my son started loosing his teeth, we went through all the drama again. I got to be the tooth fairy. Several times. Now she is ten. She knows it is me. She knows that after she falls asleep, I sneak in and take her nasty tooth, replacing it with a dollar. The magic is gone. Now, it is just a cash cow.

So, yesterday, Abby lost another tooth. “Let’s just put it on the counter to make it easier for the tooth fairy,” I suggested, laughing. She laughed too and shot me a knowing look. “Okay” And there the tooth sat. All night long. This morning, I even made breakfast, drank a cup of coffee and nursed the baby without seeing the wretched thing. Abby brought it to me, a sparkle in her eye. “We even made it easier on her, and she still forgot.” She said, as she handed me the tooth. “I’ll get you a dollar in a minute,” I said, winning the “Worst Mother of the Year” award. “I make a pretty lousy mom, don’t I?”

“No” replied Abby, sweetly, “Your the best mom in the world.”

But we agree that the tooth fairy is a bum.