Defining My Occupation

Just a stay-at-home-mom? I think not. Try these on for size:

Waste Management Engineer Specializing, but not limited to, infant secretion disposal.

Elementary School Educator Turning every experience into a learning experience.

Guidance Counselor and Self-Help Guru Guiding them to help themselves.

Nutritional Supervisor and Gourmet Chef My motto – “Eat it, it’s good for you”.

Professional Shopper and Budget Manager Working miracles with a checkbook, one grocery cart at a time.

First Response Emergency Personnel Administering medical care when required and liberally applying Mama’s Magic where needed (uh, that would be kissing boo-boos)

Incubator and Infant Sustaining System I am so crafty, I make babies! I also make milk. What is your superpower?

Barber Specializing in crisis management, turning “Mama, I cut my bangs!” into “There, that’s not too bad, is it?”

Entertainment Coordinator and Chauffeur Including precise age-appropriatteness calculation expertise and proper Automobile Infant Restraint System usage expert.

Your turn. Can you think of more?

10 thoughts on “Defining My Occupation

  1. What about taking care of our husbands? Perhaps

    ‘work psychologist’ Dealing with the ins and outs of our husbands psyche during bad and good work days. Including but not limited to, neck rubs, affirming statements, extra affection and special meals

    • Every time I tried to phrase something about the care of husbands, it just didn’t sound right – “totally hot lover extraordinarre” or even “massage therapist, with perks”. Yes, I am. 🙂
      I like your broader approach!

  2. I would also add to that:
    Personal Fashion Designer and Stylist, “Here honey, since you insist on wearing your rain boots every single day, I knit you a sweater that matches so that at least it looks intentional.”
    Paparazzi Photographer, “Sure, I’d love to take ANOTHER picture of you twirling in your tutu!”
    And, Dive Rescue Coordinator, “For the last time, cars can’t swim and dollies don’t like to take baths in the potty!”

  3. …and I felt the need to comment again because this post made me think of how every time I meet someone, the first thing they ask is “What do you do?”… and, well, I do everything! 😉 Stay-At-Home-Mom usually just gets an “Oh” and a brush off… because, obviously, I am brainless and have no dreams or ambitions if I choose to be home raising my child (how dare they!) My husband tells people I “work from home”, which I suppose I do, in my way. Hmmm…

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